Mirror, Mirror: A Comedy of Errors
by Immortal Drake
Summary: (Sheppard Studios Contest 2 Entry)After a particularly wild night of drinking and merriment, Fox wakes up to a very unfamiliar bedroom, and a stranger wakes up to a similarly unfamiliar bedroom in the arms of a famous blue vixen. What exactly happened to bring this about? Why, simple confusion of course!


**A/N: Alright, if you're all wondering where I've been all this time, here it is! I've joined Sheppard Studios' most recent one-shot contest, and the topic was humor. This is my first attempt at such a story type so it's probably not as good as it could be. I've gone for something loosely inspired by Comedy of Errors, which you'll see below.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Fox, which belongs to Nintendo. Phoenix belongs to Elarix and the Lovely Miss Scarlet belongs to K.S. Reynard.**

 **And without further ado, here is my entry!**

* * *

Mirror, Mirror

By: Immortal Drake

 _BEEP!_

The harsh, shrill sound made Fox's head want to split itself in half. His triangular ears, normally perked and alert, rapidly folded themselves against his head and his thin muzzle contracted in a grimace as he tried to block out the earsplitting noise. He pushed his head harder against the pillow, but that only helped block out half the sound from his right side.

 _BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

He tried to move his arm, to better search out that infernal device and either hit the snooze button or push the alarm clock onto the floor so that he could focus on trying to make his head not hurt so much. However, his efforts were stymied by a thin sheet that did its level best to try and impair his arm's range of motion, but it was no match for his determination.

 _BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

With a welcomed rush of cooler air against his body the sheet was gone and tossed further down the bed that he lay on. After three attempts at clumsily trying to quiet down the clock, he finally managed it, his hand coming down on it at just the right angle to hit the snooze button.

' _Finally_ ,' he thought to himself, gleefully embracing the newly arrived quiet. He then groaned when his headache decided to remind him that it still existed. ' _I need some coffee, ASAP_ ,' he thought to himself as he tried to shift himself upright.

Opening and closing his muzzle with audible _smacks_ , he yawned and opened his eyes, looking around blearily at the dark room he'd awoken to. Reflexively, his nose inhaled, taking in the scents around him. Most prominently, alcohol, ' _Makes sense, that was an awfully rowdy party last night, I think_ ,' he mentally commented to himself. A particularly sour taste also made itself known to him as his mouth worked overtime to wet his tongue.

It was then he noticed that he was alone in the room, the familiar presence of Krystal not at all present beside him nor in his mind. The vulpine was immediately set on edge, ' _What the hell happened last night?!_ ' he thought as he reflexively tried to remember more of how he'd gotten where he was now, his head only hurt worse for it. He decided to make piecing it all together a priority as he tried to stand and get a better feel for the pitch black room.

As he did so, he felt a slight wave of dizziness wash over him, and he put a hand on the bed to try and stabilize it, only to feel something slightly crusty on it, causing him to immediately yank it away in disgust as the smell of vomit reached his nose under the prevalent scent of alcohol. ' _Oh, so that's why I have such a bad taste in my mouth_ ,' he thought, trying to calm his stomach as it attempted to do flips in his gut, he took deep, slow breaths through his mouth rather than his nose.

Having regained mastery over himself, Fox decided that he needed to find a light switch and get a gander at everything before trying to do anything too rash. So, he reached out with both arms, waving them about as he tried to determine the placement of everything as he started stepping away from the bed. Carpet made itself known under his toes, his feet sinking slightly into the fabrics.

He mentally mapped out about four steps before his right hand impacted smooth wall in the dark. He patted around, looking for a light switch or something of that function. First left, then right, he managed to discover a dresser to his right and a door on his left, but no light switch.

He continued patting the door towards his left before he found the light controls at about the same height as his shoulder. He fumbled for the switch, and pressed it, illuminating the room drawing a hiss of discomfort from him as the light stabbed him in the eyes.

Squinting to try and keep his discomfort at a minimum, Fox looked around the room he'd found himself in.

' _Am I, back at the Academy or something_?' he mentally wondered to himself. The room did remind himself back of his dorm room back at the Cornerian Flight Academy, with the bed he remembered getting out of, as well as the very visible vomit stain on the mattress and carpet near the side. He also saw the dresser he'd found during his stumbling, and the presence of a nightstand by the head of the bed where the infernal alarm clock sat. A curtained window occupied the far wall. The walls themselves were painted white, accompanied by a faded grey for the carpet. The only splashes of color in the room were the dark green color of the bedsheets and the dark black of the dresser and nightstand.

' _What a bland room, wonder what that says about the person who lives here_? _Wait, if this is a dream or something that means I might live here_ ' was his mental conclusion, though it didn't come without any doubt to its legitimacy. He looked down at himself, and instantly blushed as he discovered that whoever had put him to bed had managed to get him out of his flight suit and into the tank top and tight shorts that he usually wore underneath. He didn't want to think about just what might have happened, but thankfully didn't seem to have actually occurred. His eyes quickly looked around at the floor to try and find his flight suit, but it was nowhere to be seen.

His worked his mouth open and closed a couple times once more, then decided to speak to himself to try and rationalize what he was about to do, "Well, if needs must, and needs definitely must in this situation." He approached the dresser quickly, then started to open the drawers to try and see if anything fit him.

The first drawer contained some pairs of boxers, none of which really appealed to him, and looked like they might be a tad small on him so that was out. The second drawer contained some t-shirts, the vulpine choosing a black one that looked like it would fit him better than any of the other ones in the dresser, plus anything was better than the reeking tank top he had on right now. The third drawer held tons of socks, Fox pulling out a pair that looked particularly clean, while the fourth drawer held some pairs of shorts and some pairs of longer pants. The famous mercenary chose a pair of dark blue jeans, tossing them on the bed with the other garments he'd chosen and quickly starting to dress himself.

' _Well, at least Krystal would like how I'm dressed now, if I knew where the hell she was_ ,' he thought to himself as he looked and patted himself down. The shirt and jeans were a tad snug; particularly around his shoulders, chest, and backside but they would have to do and at least he didn't look _completely_ ridiculous in them. He was rather surprised at the close fit, whoever lived in the dorm room must be close to his size, if a bit smaller and less muscular.

The door controls were on the same panel as the light controls, so Fox quickly pressed the button to open the door and it slid open to reveal a short unfamiliar hallway with a staircase that started across the hall from his door and led downstairs and to the left. A delicious aroma wafted up the stairs and into his nose, making his mouth water a little and his stomach to grumble audibly.

' _Well, no time like the present to figure out just where I might have ended up_ ,' he thought, padding towards the stairs, the socks muffling the noise of his steps aside from the slight creak of the hardwood flooring. However, a voice that shouted up from below made him pause.

"Yo, Phoenix, you finally up slowpoke?" The speaker definitely sounded young, younger than him by a bit in any case, but exceptionally loud. Fox debated whether or not he should answer them, as he most definitely wasn't this "Phoenix" they were referring to.

Deciding that since he was in a college dorm, and the speaker clearly thought he was someone else, the vulpine trod down the stairs in silence. His footsteps creaked heavily on the wooden steps as he made his way down. The stairwell led him down to what could only be the front door of the dorm, where some shoes could be seen set down on a mat to the side of the doorway along with his boots.

A short hallway extended to his left, with a door on the left and right of the passage that he could only guess one of which was a bathroom, and opened up into what was obviously a dining room or breakfast nook with a fairly plain wooden table big enough to host four chairs on each side.

"Hey, Phoenix, come on and get some breakfast before we're late!" Fox's mysterious host called out once more from down the hallway.

The vulpine tread down the hallway, staying cautious in case he really was in a hostile environment, though his stomach tried to urge him onward with another grumble.

"Don't think I didn't hear that, come on and get something in your belly," the voice from what could only be the kitchen echoed out. Fox began to hear things frying, making his mouth water some as the smell of what could only be bacon hit his nose.

Finally rounding the corner of the hallway, Fox saw a kitchen in full motion, separated from the dining room by a counter and manned by a short but energetic field mouse. The rodent practically bounced from place to place, making sure a large meal was cooked to perfection; frying up bacon, flipping pancakes and french toast, as well as pulling regular toast from a toaster to join some more on a plate. An aquamarine apron covered his front and waved about as he moved with speed only matched by a master chef. There was enough food prepared to feed the small dorm he'd found himself in, and probably then some.

The mouse whose name he didn't know spoke up again without looking his way, "Go on, sit down and eat, the others will be up soon with hangovers and hungry bellies." Despite himself, Fox sat down, his hunger driving him on. The mouse then spun around to face him, mouth open to speak, only to freeze before he got a word out upon spotting Fox sitting at the chair that was closest to the door. "You're not Phoenix," the mouse said, and it definitely wasn't a question as he pointed right at Fox.

Fox nodded back, "No, I'm not," he managed to croak out, "I'm…."

"Fox McCloud, the mercenary who saved all of Lylat some time back," the mouse interrupted him, "Yeah, you're, kind of hard to miss sir," he concluded, hitting one of the vulpine's pet peeves about being called sir.

"Just, call me Fox would ya?" He said to the rodent, who nodded rapidly in response, though the latter still decidedly remained in the kitchen, "And would you mind explaining how I got here? And while you're at it why you were calling me Phoenix?"

This spurred the mouse to quickly turn off the various appliances he had been manning, the last completed batches of food set out and covered with towels to keep them warm. He leaned against the counter that separated the kitchen from the table and spoke up, "Well, it, seems we got you mixed up with a friend of ours, named Phoenix," his tone straightforward.

This confused Fox just a bit, "And how did you manage that, exactly?" he replied.

"He looks a lot like you, actually," was the mouse's answer, "And he just so happened to be cosplaying as you for the party, and we all must have been drunk enough that we mistook you for him."

' _That, makes some sense actually, everybody was getting pretty wasted at that party_ ,' Fox thought to himself, not taking his eyes off of the mouse. Then he remembered he hadn't caught his name, "Well, you obviously know my name, can I ask what yours is?" he said to his host.

"Micah Frost, and I'm really sorry about the mix up, Fox," the mouse answered. Stuttering a little at addressing the vulpine by his first name, "Can I offer you some breakfast? I usually make some for everyone since most of us here don't have classes till the later morning, but I wake up everyone by saying they'll be late, that gets them up _really_ fast." Micah chuckled as he finished his statement.

As Fox opened his mouth to answer, his stomach grumbled, stifling a chuckle alongside his unintended host, "That's a yes if I ever heard it," he managed to say. The mouse nodded with a grin and quickly approached the food.

"What would you like?" Micah said over his shoulder, Fox's nose going into overdrive at all the possibilities it told him were there.

"Think I'll have some french toast and bacon… as well as some coffee if you got any," was his answer, wincing as his head reminded him of just what he'd done the previous night.

"Not a problem, we've got that," was Micah's answer, and as Fox started to get up, the mouse tutted at him, "You sit and try to relax with that hangover, I'll get it, you're our guest even if it'll only be for breakfast."

Heeding the mouse's statement, Fox settled himself back into the chair, ears flicking as he heard others approaching down the stairs.

"Hey, Micah, got any bacon fried?" came a deep growl of a voice, causing Fox to turn around just in time to see a slightly heavyset looking wolverine stomping onto the landing and into the hallway. The mustelid was clad in only a pair of boxer shorts and a slightly stained white t-shirt as he observed Fox with narrowed eyes, "And who's the guy wearing Phoenix's clothes?" was his next statement as he continued to stare at the vulpine with a suspicious frown.

The mouse piped up from where he was occupied gathering up some french toast and bacon while a pot of coffee brewed, "That's Fox McCloud, the _real_ Fox McCloud Enrique, seems like we had a pretty big mix up when we left the party."

The wolverine, Enrique as he'd been named, blanched, "Oh, damn, you're not mad are you Mr. McCloud?" he said, seeming quite anxious.

"Nah, you're good, we were all kind of drunk off our asses last night. Plus I heard your friend Phoenix looks a lot like me." Fox answered immediately, Enrique instantly letting out a sigh of relief, shoulders lowering.

"Thanks, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack there for a moment," he answered, tromping over towards the empty seat that faced into the kitchen, "Oi, Micah, can you spare me some bacon and flapjacks?" he called out to the kitchen.

"Sure can big guy!" was the mouse's answer, Micah quickly starting to balance between making two plates, Fox thought it was his imagination, but he thought he saw Enrique following the mouse's movements with an awful lot of attentiveness. He decided that it'd be best if he didn't get involved, he wasn't going to be staying with them for very long, plus he had to make sure if this Phoenix character had actually gotten taken along by mistake by the rest of his team.

However, that thought was temporarily put to the back of his mind as Micah approached the table with the food for all three, "Soup's on!" he crowed as another set of steps came downstairs right as the mouse was grabbing Fox a mug for his coffee.

"Come on Micah, it's too early to be all peppy," spoke a very sleepy looking oryx, who rubbed his eye as he walked down, much slimmer than Enrique and clad in baggy shorts and a tank top much like Fox's previous one. He was also easily the tallest in the room just like Micah was the shortest, and that was without counting his horns.

"Morning Andre, breakfast is in the kitchen if you want any, or if you want me to get it for you that's fine too, we've also got coffee brewed courtesy of our guest," the mouse replied, pointing to where the coffee machine sat on the corner of the counter closest to the wall.

"I'll get it, don't worry about it Micah," was the ungulate's answer as he walked straight into the kitchen, not even pausing when he spotted Fox. Andre quickly loaded up his plate with pancakes, putting a small patter of butter on top of them and filling up a mug of coffee before heading back for the table, grabbing a fork for himself along the way.

Fox had already dug in before the oryx was seated, Micah and Enrique having followed the vulpine's example. The ungulate grabbed the syrup bottle and poured some out on his pancakes before starting to eat himself.

"So, the Phoenix we thought we brought home isn't really Phoenix," Andre spoke up after a while. The silence that followed seemed to be answer enough for the young man as he kept eating, "We in any legal trouble?"

"Nope," Enrique answered, taking a break from where he'd been tearing into a few pieces of bacon at once, if only for a moment before the wolverine went right back to it.

"Good," Andre said, not looking up from his meal, "We know where Phoenix ended up?"

Fox decided to answer this time, "He's probably with the rest of my team right now, if they thought he was me, then they'd have probably taken him to the Great Fox… and Krystal would have… Crap," the vulpine's sentence trailed off as his train of thought hit its brakes extremely hard to avoid heading into that particular gutter.

"Sounds like you better hurry up then," Micah said from his seat, having gotten a number of slices of french toast covered in a generous helping of syrup for himself earlier. "Your flight suit is in the laundry room, across the hall from the bathroom," he added, pointing at the door on Fox's right when he looked down the hallway. The vulpine nodded in thanks, and began shoveling food into his waiting maw as fast as he was able to eat it without choking. His coffee disappeared down his throat in a similarly quick fashion.

As he finished up, he began to pick up his plate and mug when Enrique stopped him with a hand on his arm, the wolverine also close to finishing his own meal, "I'll get it, you focus on getting back to your team, and your girl," he said. Fox nodded in thanks and darted into the laundry room, closing the door behind him. He quickly found his flight suit in the dryer and slipped it on, after removing the clothes he'd temporarily borrowed from Phoenix's dresser. He darted out of the laundry room shortly after, grabbed his boots from the mat by the door, and retrieved his previous clothes from Phoenix's room.

"Which way is the fastest way to the star port from here? Last I remembered the Great Fox is docked there for maintenance," he said to the others as he started putting his boots on.

"The star port is all the way across the city from the campus," Andre piped up, getting up from his chair and walking out of sight for a moment. He came back with a set of keys in his hand, "Take my car, I won't be needing it today, just make sure to bring it back in one piece if you can," he said, tossing them to Fox.

The vulpine nodded, "Thanks Andre, and thanks to the rest of you for your kindness, wish me luck," and as the rest of them said their well-wishes, Fox darted out the door.

* * *

 **(Meanwhile.)**

 **SSNNUUURRRKKKK!**

The loud noise instantly jolted Phoenix awake, the red fox breathing hard for a few moments, eyes wide in fear. He looked around him, his surroundings unfamiliar and mostly dark. As his eyes adjusted, he began to make out the shape of the room he was in, just about to make out where the far wall was when…

 **SSNNUUURRRKKKK!**

There it was again, and right next to him. The noise made his head throb massively, spurring him to fold his ears tight against his skull. He looked over to his right and down, where he saw an arm draped across his chest, and then the body it was attached too that was shrouded in darkness and the sheets that covered himself as well as his bedmate. What was worse, he could feel a damp spot around his crotch, and combined with his hangover he could only hope he hadn't peed himself during the night.

' _As if I didn't have enough to worry about with whoever, or whatever, is in bed with me_ ,' he thought to himself.

 **SSNNUUURRRKKKK!**

Yet another loud snore erupted from the person next to him, though judging by their slender arm and rather curvy shape under the covers, he could only assume his bedmate was a woman.

' _Heh, maybe I got laid last night, awesome_ ,' Phoenix thought to himself again, though it did puzzle part of him with how much his thoughts seemed to have replaced his regular speech, not to mention how he'd managed to get a woman into bed with him to begin with.

Maybe it had something to do with that new narrator….

 **SSNNUUURRRKKKK!**

That was it, he'd had enough of that bear-like snoring. He searched for some kind of light source to try and get a better look at who was with him, the right revealed a dark nightstand with what appeared to be a lamp on it, but it was too far away to reach from where he was without alerting whoever it was that held on to him. He looked to his left, to find a similar lamp with a clock sitting at its base. He reached out with his free arm, as discreetly as he could manage, and fumbled for the lamp's controls.

After what felt like forever, Phoenix managed to thumb the switch to turn the lamp on, and just as quickly turned to regard his bedmate only to feel his jaws gape wide and his entire body froze.

The person in bed with him was a fox, a woman just like he'd guessed, but she was not just any vixen. Her blue fur that matched the colors of the bedsheets so perfectly instantly identified her as Krystal, the member of Star Fox, the last Cerinian in the galaxy. And if the tabloids were anything to go by, the love interest of Fox McCloud himself. He gulped, feeling his stomach sinking at the implications, a whole new possibility about why his crotch felt damp opening up in his mind that only increased his sense of dread.

' _I, am in bed, with the one and only Krystal of Star Fox_ ,' he thought to himself, part of him wanting to practically leap out of the bed and dance around the room in triumphant joy, while the other felt more like sinking into the sheets and never coming back out again, while another wanted to run out of the room, out of wherever the heck he was, and then just keep running for the rest of his life.

The vixen next to him must have sensed the tension within his frame, as she started to stir, blinking her eyes blearily as she looked at him. "Fox, what is it?" she said, voice a little hoarse.

"Uh, nothing, just a hangover," Phoenix's mouth spoke before he could think of anything else to say, subconsciously pitching his voice a little lower than normal. Or maybe his own voice was a bit hoarse too from the dry feeling in his throat. "You get some more rest, I'll, go see what the others are up to," he continued, already trying to free himself from the blue vixen's grasp. Yet he couldn't seem too enthusiastic about it, lest he give himself away.

Managing to do so, Krystal rolling more onto her front and snuggling up against her pillow in the meantime, Phoenix looked down at himself. He breathed a small sigh of relief to find his boxers were still on his body, though the rest of him was bare and the undergarments were a tad damp as well, rendering his feeling of relief somewhat moot.

' _Well, that's a sign that it's entirely possible we didn't do it last night_ ,' he thought to himself, trying to keep himself calm and not reveal himself to the psychic in the room with him. It was a relief as well that she didn't seem to be in tune with his own thoughts, ' _She must have been really drunk last night_ ,' he thought to himself again, thanking his lucky stars for the fact.

He began looking on the floor in the lamp light for his costume that he'd been wearing to the large block party. He didn't have to look far, as it was on the floor, but looked like it'd been stepped on some with clawed toes as well as had alcohol spilled on it. There was no way he was wearing that until it had been cleaned and repaired of the minor tearing.

With a breath to calm himself, Phoenix turned to the large closet that dominated the wall to the left of the bed, and opened it up. It was clearly shared by both Fox McCloud and Krystal, as one side had a number of clothing items that were most definitely the former's; namely shirts as well as pairs of shorts and jeans, and the other side held a number of bodysuits as well as various feminine delicates that made him blush upon looking at them.

He quickly took out a pair of the smallest looking jeans he could find as well as a long-sleeved shirt that seemed to be similarly smaller than the others, if only by a smidgen. He quickly pulled the two garments on over his boxers and his bare torso respectively, then headed for the door as quick as he dared. The controls weren't hard to find, especially with the lamp turned on behind him, so he was soon out of the room as the door slid shut behind him.

He let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, and leaned against the door. "Oh my God that was terrifying," he said to himself, then he froze once more as he looked at his surroundings. He was in a metal corridor that was lined with similar doors to the one he'd just come out of, one end of the corridor was a dead end while the other led to a lift.

' _I must be on the Great Fox_ , _perfect_ ,' he thought sarcastically to himself. That meant he'd probably have to get past the rest of the mercenaries that made this ship home, or be questioned about his presence on their vessel when he himself did not know how exactly he'd gotten there. He'd have to rack his brains for what he knew of Fox McCloud in order to pull this off if he got caught.

Seeing as there was only the lift as his way out, Phoenix started making his semi-hurried way there, if he could reach it and then find his way to an exit he was home free. He had nearly made it when he heard a voice behind him and froze, "Morning Foxy, sleep well? Heh, who am I kidding, of course you did when you've got Krystal there in bed with you."

The vulpine turned around to see the pheasant ace Falco Lombardi approaching him, "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" the system-famous mercenary said to him, looking him over, "Or maybe the hangover?"

Phoenix only nodded, not daring to speak in front of someone who was close to Fox McCloud yet seemed so fooled. Though the avian was holding a hand to his head, meaning he likely had a hangover too.

"Well, good thing we've got just the thing for that, coffee," Falco replied, walking past Phoenix and towards the lift, "Come on, let's get this crap settled."

Caught between a rock and a hard place, and fearful of what might happen if he was found out as an imposter, Phoenix followed the bird into the lift. His traveling companion quickly hit a button and the lift shifted as it traveled between the decks of the massive dreadnought. It stopped with a soft _ding_ and the doors opened to let them out into a short hallway. He followed Falco to the door at the end, where it opened into a small dining and cooking area equipped with a fridge, stove, and a table easily large enough to seat eight people at once.

At the table was seated a certain frog that was also well-known throughout Lylat, Slippy Toad. The amphibian was already wearing his trademark yellow jumpsuit and tinkering with some sort of gadget Phoenix couldn't begin to identify as Falco walked in before the vulpine. He quickly followed, not wanting to seem suspicious, spotting a box of cereal on top of the fridge and retrieving it with a short hop. He grabbed a bowl from a cupboard and milk from the fridge for his cereal while Falco was in the midst of brewing up some coffee.

"So, does, anyone remember what went on last night?" he spoke tentatively, making sure to pitch his voice a bit lower on purpose this time as he finished preparing his bowl of cereal.

"Not me," was Falco's immediate reply as he got a mug out for his first cup of coffee.

"It's, fuzzy," spoke up the rather high-pitched voice of Slippy from the table, "What about you Fox?"

"Eh, not a lot," Phoenix admitted, "I don't even remember what, Krystal and I did, when we got back," he stuttered after, stomach twisting into a knot as each word exited his mouth.

The avian to his right let out a low whistle as he poured himself some coffee, "Damn, we all must have been pretty wasted." Phoenix could only nod in response as Falco continued, "Good thing Peppy was too interested in going to see an old friend, all the alcohol might have killed him if he'd come with."

"Yeah, good thing," Phoenix added on, grabbing a mug from the cupboard himself to get some coffee, if there was one thing he'd learned in college, it was that coffee was his friend when it came to waking up quickly in the morning. He picked up his bowl of cereal, grabbed a spoon from a drawer, picked up his mug of coffee afterward and then walked over towards the single table in the room.

"You sure you're feeling okay Fox?" Slippy piped up as the vulpine sat down across from him, Falco sitting next to the amphibian.

Phoenix tried to stall for time, taking a drink of his coffee, letting the warm liquid go down his throat while his brain did its best to come up with what to say based on what media he'd seen of the famous vulpine. "Yeah, just, hungover is all, ugh," he said after he'd put his mug down, grimacing as he lifted his spoon and used it to shovel a mouthful of cereal into his maw.

"I hear ya buddy, definitely know the feeling," was the frog's reply as he took a break from his tinkering to sip from a mug of coffee himself. "By the way, the people from Space Dynamics are already here for the retrofits and maintenance," he added, "They're down in the hangar right now."

' _That means my escape route would be filled with people_ ,' Phoenix thought to himself, trying to avoid letting the slight clench of his jaw show as he continued eating. Seeing Slippy and Falco looking at him, he swallowed his current mouthful and spoke, "Good, good, let's hope everything goes smoothly yeah?"

"You sure you're just feeling the effects of a hangover Foxy?" Falco said, frowning at the vulpine.

"Yeah yeah, just need to walk it off, I'll be fine," Phoenix answered hastily, trying to think of what Fox would do in this situation while also trying to find his way out, "How about we go check their progress once we're done here?" He hoped that would throw them off his scent enough that he might be able to slip away once they got in amongst the people milling about.

"I was just about to suggest that myself, actually," Slippy piped up as he resumed his tinkering, "Izzy's gonna need your signature and mine for the parts and upgrades," he concluded.

' _Izzy, who's Izzy_?' The vulpine thought to himself, hoping his confusion didn't show. "Can someone remind me what they're here for again?" he said aloud, hoping to gain some information so as not to give himself away later.

"Just regular upgrades of certain parts as well as replacements for current ones, nothing major, I can only do so much with old parts," Slippy replied, "You must have really hit the bottle hard if you can't remember that was happening today."

Phoenix chuckled nervously, "Yeah, maybe I did hit it a little too hard last night, someone remind me not to do that ever again."

"I think we _all_ need a reminder to not do that again," Falco groaned from his seat, still holding his head as he took a long drink of his own coffee, "They didn't even have the good beer to make this hangover even half worth it."

' _Not the college's fault their part of the budget for it had to come from a couple different fundraisers_ ,' Phoenix couldn't help thinking, having participated in one of them with his buddies from the dorm. He almost started drooling remembering Micah's contributions to it, a bake sale if he remembered correctly.

"Still, we're going to need to cut things a little tight until Pepper can give us another job Fox, that party dug into our budget a bit more than we planned. Heck, we're lucky we'd kept enough for the parts saved up and set aside," Slippy said, breaking off Phoenix's train of thought.

"What, your singles on SciTunes not doing too well Slip?" Falco said, managing a small smirk, bringing an irritated frown to the amphibian's face.

"I told you, they're just for fun Falco," Slippy retorted, "Not to make a lot of money."

"Whatever," Falco said, finishing off his coffee, "Just make sure you close your door when you're recording, I swear the last time you didn't close your door my beak was rattling from your singing alone."

' _Hoo boy, does Fox have to deal with this every day_?' Phoenix thought to himself as he watched the small argument unfold, ' _Well, better get them to stop, my cereal has gotten way too soggy and the coffee is gone_.'

"Guys, guys, we'll figure out the budget stuff later," he said out loud, standing out of his seat with bowl and mug in hand, "Let's go see how Izzy and the Space Dynamics people are doing eh?"

This got a nod from the two mercenaries at the table, Slippy and Falco following Phoenix's example, getting up and putting their dishes into a dishwasher that was set into the wall while Slippy pocketed his gadget. The trio quickly walked back to the lift, Slippy pressing the button for the hangar and they were off. The ride was quick and smooth, just like the first, the hum of the machinery almost lulling Phoenix to sleep in the process.

The door opened to the Great Fox's hangar bay, from which many media sources had shown the famous Arwings flying forth to fight the enemies of Lylat. Ignoring how the lift had deposited them in the corridor leading to the catwalk above the floor of the hangar where the fighters were usually docked, Phoenix was awed at what was going on. A couple Space Dynamics trucks had driven into the hangar, the containers on their sides opened up via sliding doors and filled with various pieces of equipment and machinery that crew were hefting up and out towards the Arwings that had been lowered onto the hangar floor.

He couldn't help looking semi-longingly out that hangar door, so close yet so far away at the same time.

"Come on Fox, Izzy's been waiting for us to sign off on the order for nearly an hour," Slippy piped up, already heading for a service ladder at the end of the catwalk.

"Right, sorry," he replied, heading towards the ladder, and praying to the stars above that he didn't slip and fall off down onto the hard hangar floor.

* * *

 **(Meanwhile.)**

Fox sighed, honking the horn of the dark green Mibushi Sahara he had borrowed from Andre. The compact two-seater sports car was currently sat in one of the most infuriating traffic jams Fox had ever had the displeasure to be in. It seemed that everyone in Coneria City had decided to take the very same road he was trying to use, or were unsure of whether they needed the turn lane or the thru lane, or were just plain lost so they drove under the speed limit at such a speed it made it impossible for the vulpine to get around them before another car got into the lane next to him.

' _At this rate, it'd be faster if I walked_ ,' he mentally griped, groaning and slamming his palm down on the steering wheel as a light changed to red moments before he could manage to get through. ' _I need to get back to my team, Krystal especially, she gets rather amorous when she's drunk, and if Phoenix was there instead of me_ ,' his grip subconsciously tightened on the wheel for a moment before he relaxed himself, ' _One step at a time McCloud, take this one step at a time_.'

A sudden, very familiar female voice called out from off to his right, "Fox, is that you?!" He heard running footsteps on the sidewalk and turned to try and see the speaker. And his stomach dropped as he recognized his distant cousin Scarlet, the eponymous scarlet-furred vixen was dashing right up to his car, even as Fox wished with all his might that the light would change to green before she got there so he could speed away. He had no such luck, as Scarlet reached the side of the car and leaned down so she could poke her muzzle into the open window, letting him get an unintended view of her catsuit-clad body for a moment.

"Aha, I knew it! It is you Foxy!" she said, looking at the insides of the car, "What're you doing in this car, you rent it? Or did you steal it?" When he tried to give her the silent treatment, she continued on, "C'mon Foxy, tell me, teeeelll mee," she repeated the statement with various forms of sing-song until he caved in with a groan.

"I borrowed the car, alright?" he snapped, feeling the headache of his hangover returning, and oh so wanting to wash it away with more alcohol.

"And why's that?" she retorted, crossing her arms and setting them down on the door.

"There was, a mix up at the big party last night, I woke up in a college dorm and I think someone who looks just like me is on the Great Fox right now, with Krystal," he said, ears folded down, knowing what was coming.

Scarlet digested that for a moment, mouth twitching until she threw her head back and crowed to the sky, "HA, HAHAHAHA! Oh, that is rich, I'm so seeing how this is turning out!" Before Fox could even think of raising the window to try and stop her, she had reached over and unlocked the door, and hopped into the car and buckled herself in while still shaking with mirth.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up you hyena," the vulpine grumbled as the light finally changed to green and he accelerated down the road. Thankfully the stop had allowed the traffic ahead to clear somewhat, speeding up his progress.

Scarlet scoffed, "I'm not a hyena, my laugh is too pretty to be a hyena's," she retorted, "And besides, wonder what Little Blue is going to think when she finds out that the person she thought she took to bed last night, wasn't you." She dissolved into more giggles as Fox's face flushed and he couldn't help as his left ear began twitching.

"Ooh, I know that look, Foxy's all flustered," the vixen in the passenger seat said with a smirk, "Come on, it's not like she's your first, after all. She's gotta know that."

Fox snorted, "And neither were you, though it wasn't for lack of trying on your part," he replied with a smirk of his own as Scarlet narrowed her eyes at him before snorting herself and starting to giggle again.

"Still, I'm amazed that your own team couldn't tell you apart from someone who only looked like you," she said, "How does that even happen?"

"The guy was cosplaying as me, as it turns out," Fox replied, bringing a fresh wave of giggles that only made his cheeks burn.

"Wow, just, wow; they were so drunk they couldn't tell you apart from a cosplayer. That's gotta be a record somewhere," Scarlet said as her tail wagged wildly.

"It's not _that_ funny Scar," he said to her, though he had to hit the brakes hard for a moment as yet another car pulled out in front of him without slowing down.

"Sure it is, you just gotta lighten up," was her reply, the vixen sticking the tip of her tongue out at him.

"I'll think about laughing at it, once this is all sorted out and everything is taken care of. Krystal is so going to be pissed," he couldn't help saying. The star port was thankfully now in sight, with the Great Fox taking the most prominent position in the middle of the landing field.

"Yeah, but she'll be pissed at whoever this guy that looks like you is, not you, so that's a plus," Scarlet said, "I can't even imagine what it'd be like to fall in love with some sort of psychic, way too creepy for me."

Fox grinned mischievously, "What, wouldn't want them poking around and seeing all your dirty thoughts?" This earned him a fully stuck out tongue in response, getting a small chuckle out of him at managing to really get a rise out of her this time around.

"Can't be any dirtier than yours," she replied, managing to make his cheeks flush once more.

It was nearly fifteen minutes later when Fox pulled into the star port parking lot, thankfully Scarlet had her mercenary ID with her and Fox was fairly recognizable so the staff waved them through without having to worry about the usual security measures.

"Come on, let's hurry, Space Dynamics has people coming out today and they'll need my signature for the receipt," he said as he picked up the pace, Scarlet easily keeping up.

As they practically ran up the service ramp, they skidded to a stop, Scarlet nearly running into Fox as his jaw dropped at the scene before him. He and Scarlet spoke in unison.

"What the hell?!"

* * *

 **(Meanwhile.)**

The noise of machinery running was almost deafening once Phoenix had reached the floor of the hangar with Slippy and Falco, welders, drills, and electronic screwdrivers all contributed sizzling, whining, and hammering to a cacophony that battered his eardrums and gave him a headache all over again.

"Come on! I think I saw Izzy over this way!" Slippy shouted over the noise, leading the other two over towards one of the Arwings.

As they approached the craft, Phoenix could see that someone was ducked head-first in the cockpit, only their lower half visible from the ground. "You better not be frying my Arwing's circuits in there Izzy!" Falco shouted as they got closer, though Phoenix could tell the pheasant didn't mean the warning his words implied, it sounded more like affectionate ribbing than anything.

"I know how to do my job feather head," a woman's voice yelled from the cockpit, and as Phoenix looked, he just now noticed the behind attached to the person they were approaching. A bit on the big side, but not seeming at all flabby as they bent and maneuvered, filling out the fabric of this Izzy woman's Space Dynamics jumpsuit in just the right ways. The vulpine could feel his nose starting to become tender as he watched that booty move, zebra tail flicking around above it.

"Yo, Fox, you there?" Falco's voice interrupted his staring, jolting him out of his reverie as the woman they had come to talk to straightened up and turned around. She was a zebra, as her tail had revealed, and if she were standing on the floor with them she'd likely be over six feet tall. And just like her rump, she was definitely a bombshell of a woman in general, her curves filling out her jumpsuit just enough to entice any onlookers while leaving just a bit to the imagination. Though the heavy elbow gloves she wore contrasted slightly with her outfit, black instead of the Space Dynamics dark green.

"Was wondering when you'd be coming down here," Izzy spoke up, her voice slightly coarse and deep, but most certainly feminine, "You two ready to sign the order of receipt?" she continued as she strode over to where a data pad had been laid down on the wing of the fighter she'd been working on.

Seeing as no one else was answering, Phoenix spoke up, "Yeah, that's what we're here for."

The zebra woman's ears flicked, mouth turning down in a slightly suspicious frown as she looked him up and down, "You okay there Fox? Don't sound quite like yourself," she said.

As Phoenix's stomach did a sudden flip, he answered out of reflex, "Hangover," he replied. He tensed as subtly as he could manage, ready to try and bolt if she suddenly ratted him out.

"Ah, I heard about that party last night, pretty big bash," she said as she handed Slippy the data pad, "No such luck for some of us, you guys got lucky in being able to attend."

"Nah, not really," Falco quipped as Slippy wrote down his signature, "They had really crap beer. Music was good though," he continued, then looked at the zebra's gloves, "Those new covers you got there Iz?"

"Yeah, newest edition, easily a few pounds lighter," she answered, tugging at straps on the glove, "Wanna see?" As the avian nodded, the zebra finally undid the last strap, and as Slippy finished with his signature on the data pad, she pulled it off to reveal a mechanical prosthetic that ended just below her elbow.

"Wow," Phoenix couldn't help but say as the metal limb glinted in the light, "Are, both your arms that way?"

Again Izzy fixed him with a strange look, as did Slippy and Falco as the latter was handed the zebra's arm cover to examine, "Yeah, they've been this way for a while," was the answer. Phoenix blushed and quickly turned to the data pad he'd numbly taken from the amphibian.

It was then he realized, ' _Oh crap, I don't know how to write his signature_!' he mentally gasped. Biting his lip as subtly as he hoped he could, he put the attached stylus to the data pad's surface on the line below Slippy's own signature as Star Fox's Chief Engineer and above the line indicating the Head Technician. On the edge of his vision, he could see the others starting to get impatient with what would normally be a very quick process he'd imagine.

With a gulp, he did his best to imagine what Fox McCloud's signature would look like, and wrote it out on the data pad. He slowly let out a breath as Izzy took it back and looked it over, feeling a sense of relief when he saw her take the stylus in hand to write her own signature, "Well, looks like everything's in order fellas, feel free to hang out here or…" the zebra's sentence was cut off as the data pad's screen flashed red and made a buzz sound.

"What was that?" Slippy said, trying to get a look at the screen despite being the shortest one present.

"It says one of the signatures here is invalid," was Izzy's answer, tapping on the data pad, "It's saying that Fox's is a forgery."

Phoenix gulped as he started to edge away from the trio, as they started to turn towards him he tried to bolt only for a feathery hand to clamp down on his shoulder and stop him dead. He got spun around to see some very angry looking faces, "I, I can explain!" he squeaked out.

"You better, pal, or we're going to have some major problems," Falco said, glaring at the vulpine. As much as Phoenix wanted to back away and gain space, Falco's hand on his shoulder was like iron.

Without taking even so much as a moment to think about what he was about to say next, Phoenix began blurting out words, "I was cosplaying as Fox McCloud last night, got really drunk, and you guys must have gotten me mixed up with the real Fox and it's likely my roommates got him mixed up with me so he might be back at the dorm," he took a breath, "I don't really remember how it happened but the next thing I knew I woke up in Fox's bed with Krystal and I don't know what we did _if_ we even did anything and then I tried to leave but I got caught and was still mistaken for the real Fox and now I just want to go home!"

"…Did either of you two understand that?" Izzy finally said once the fearful, and nearly tearful, confession had concluded.

"I did," spoke the voice of the one person Phoenix had been hoping to avoid the most. He turned to see Krystal herself, clad in a white robe up on the catwalk. The blue-furred vixen immediately headed to the ladder and practically slid down to the floor, re-cinching her robe once she did so, and headed their way with a purposeful stride.

"Look, Ms. Krystal, we were both drunk, and I had no idea of what I was doing and _yeek_!" Phoenix's attempt to cover his behind were cut off as an invisible force clamped down on his junk and his voice went an octave higher in response. It wasn't squeezing down, thankfully, but it certainly wasn't letting him go anywhere.

The others backed away as the psychic vixen stepped forward, her eyes locked squarely on Phoenix, "I'll ask you again, _where_ , _is_ , _Fox_?" She took a step closer with each word, and each time the he tried to take a step back only to be reminded she literally had him by the balls.

"I told you, he's probably back at my dorm at Corneria University or maybe out in the city!" he cried, trying so hard to avoid tearing up from being held by such a vital and delicate area.

She was silent for a moment, continuing to look him in the eye, making him more and more nervous she was actually going to squish his junk as it went on, before she sighed and let him go. Phoenix practically melted as his legs went nerveless and he crumpled to the ground with a relieved sounding moan and curled into a shivering ball on the floor.

"Jeez Krystal, I think you broke the poor guy," Falco spoke up before two voices rang out.

"What the hell?!"

* * *

Krystal gasped, then raced towards the door of the hangar, "Fox!" she cried, jumping over Phoenix who was too insensate with relief to care. Fox took a few steps towards her and opened his arms as she nearly tackled him and the two foxes embraced. Fox practically buried his nose in her fur, taking in her scent, holding her closer to make sure she was real. He could also however smell another scent, no doubt Phoenix's, as well as another that he immediately did his best to put out of his mind.

"There you are Fox, we were worried about you buddy," Falco said, the avian approaching at a much more sedate pace while Slippy and Izzy checked on the shaking Phoenix.

"Yeah, it's been, it's been quite a day," Fox answered, partially letting Krystal go so she could move towards his side.

"I'll bet," Scarlet piped up from behind the vulpine, "So, Blue, what did you and Other Fox get up to?"

"None of your business," Krystal snapped back with a frown, though not without a blush on her face too.

"Look, we'll get it sorted out later, right now, I'm just glad to be back home with the rest of my team," Fox said as Izzy helped Phoenix up and started to bring him over to the rest of the group while Slippy nearly jogged ahead of her.

"We're so glad you're alright Fox," Slippy piped up once he reached them, giving Fox a quick hug of his own that was returned with a pat on the head from the vulpine.

"Well, I'm just glad I didn't end up in an alley or somewhere worse," was his reply, "Phoenix's roommates were pretty relaxed about it, I'm a bit surprised really."

"Come on Fox," Izzy spoke up, the zebra technician having gotten level with the rest of the group, "Not everybody's going to throw themselves at your feet in hero-worship on first sight." She chuckled as Phoenix seemed to stir.

"I'm, not in trouble am I? I'm really sorry for all that's happened," he said, clearly still a little dazed.

Fox looked between the rest of his team, receiving a resounding shake of their heads, "Nah, we're cool, it was an honest mistake, no harm no foul," he answered. The other vulpine that looked surprisingly like him let out a big sigh, nearly slumping in Izzy's grip back to the floor again.

"Great, I was almost certain the new narrator had it out for me," he said, causing Fox to raise an eyebrow, as did most everyone else that he could see. He decided to think nothing of it.

"You mind taking him out to the parking lot Izzy? I've got the keys to his roommate's car here," Fox said to the zebra, pulling the keys to Andre's car out of his pocket and holding them up.

"I don't mind at all Fox, I've got plenty of people to pick up the slack here," she replied, taking the keys, "Plus I'm sure your doppelganger here will be over his brush with near castration at the hands of Krystal by the time we get there."

Fox's eyes widened at the statement and looked at Krystal, a tad afraid of the vixen in his arms, but also unable to help a feeling of warmth in his heart, "You did what?" he said as she blushed.

"Let's just focus on getting laughing boy here where he needs to go shall we?" Scarlet piped up, taking Phoenix's other side to help Izzy, though Fox could have sworn he heard her mumble something else, likely to Phoenix, "If I catch you anywhere near my cousin again, I'm getting a new fur rug," accompanied by a frightened squeak. Deciding to leave his cousin to her business, Fox walked back into the Great Fox's corridors with Krystal on his arm, they had some business to attend to.


End file.
